Families who are helping older adults with dementia face many stresses, like:
Seeing the condition get worse over time
Helping the person with dementia more and more
Disagreeing about what the person with dementia can or should do
Disagreeing about the wishes of the person with dementia
Early diagnosis of dementia gives the person more time to discuss and make legal, financial and other arrangements with family members.
Many people living with dementia, especially in the early to middle stages, can take part in family discussions and decisions.
Honoring an older adult with dementia's needs, wishes and priorities can include asking them:
About their feelings, needs and wishes
About the pros and cons of different options
About the risks they're willing to take
To choose between options
About what is most important to them
About past similar decisions or situations they faced
People living with dementia tend to be happier if they are included in family discussions and decisions at some level. It can help to keep discussions short, take breaks and focus on one question or topic at a time.
Family members of older adults with more advanced dementia can still consider the person's:
Values and preferences, such as connecting with others, enjoying favorite activities or following religious, spiritual or cultural practices
Personality, whether it's adventurous or cautious, outgoing or reserved
Relationships, including with family, friends, neighbors and community groups
Physical and emotional condition, including how stable it is and likely changes
Finances and other resources, including how they managed finances
Past decisions, including who they asked for advice and whether independence, cost, quality, convenience or something else was more important
Family members of older adults with dementia can support good family dynamics by:
Focusing on the strengths and goals of the person living with dementia
Being aware of how family members respond to stress
Managing stress by taking care of themselves
Trying not to take things personally
Seeking to understand others' points of view
Building on others' views and information to suggest solutions